Harder than it seems

“Most things are harder than they look and not as fun as they seem.”

     - Morgan Housel, Same As Ever

When you look around at the most successful agents, do you ever say something like: 

“Wow, if I could only have what they have.”

You may not quite say it in those words. However, when we look at people who are seemingly more successful than us, we often have a small twinge of envy. If we could have a little more of this and a little more of that. If we could sell xx number of homes, and make xxx much money, then life would be [sooo...] much better!

As you read this you might possibly know that this is not really the case. Objectively, at this moment, if you are being unemotional and straight about it, you know that looking at others' “success” is misleading. You also know that money in and of itself doesn’t provide happiness and fulfillment.

What is success, anyway? Selling lots of homes in and of itself is not “success” - at least not to me. Being wealthy is success. Being rich is not. Rich is an income, wealthy is having options. I’ve written about this before when I first read Morgan Housel’s book, The Psychology of Money. Being wealthy means you can take time away from your business. Being wealthy means you don’t need to sell a home this month to pay your bills. And definitely, being wealthy means you don’t have a huge business overhead machine that you have to keep running just to stay afloat.

But I don’t write these posts for big teams, or big agents with big overhead. I write this for people like you and me, who simply want to have a great business and a great life - and you get to define what great means to you. For me, it’s working fewer than 15 hours per week in real estate and only working with amazing clients who are grateful to have my advice and counsel (and happy to pay my fee). 

It took me a long time to get to this place. It didn’t happen overnight. Mostly I came into every new year freaking out: if-and-how-and-when was I going to do business??? Would it be enough? How would I make it all work? Was I good enough? You know, all that disempowering crap that can roll around in our heads.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not wealthy yet (those friggin’ kids!) - but I am clear which path I am on. I do need to sell homes this year - but I don’t need to. Do you get the difference? It’s subtle. The first is: I have obligations and responsibilities, and I will go to work to fulfill on them, and I am 100% confident in my ability to perform. The latter comes out of desperation; it is fear and scarcity driving the bus. And doubt.

Also from Housel’s The Psychology of Money, “Having more control over your time and options is becoming one of the most valuable currencies in the world.”

When we look at others' success, it is harder than it looks and not as fun as it seems. I suspect because many people we put on a pedestal are actually not very wealthy. They don’t have a lot of truly free time. The stress of getting the next deal to keep the machine running - not as fun as it seems. 

So what success are you chasing? I hope it’s not the people who are splashing themselves all over social media, bragging about how awesome they are. That, I believe, is bankrupt of profound satisfaction. If you want true wealth and true freedom, it requires consistent work over time. And that might be why it is harder than it looks, and not as fun as it seems. We all want it now, and the universe doesn’t work that way. The universe takes its sweet time to develop greatness.

 p.s. Funny clip of Jim Carrey - elegantly poking fun at "making it"